and we are all waiting for

the soft glow of

3:27

illuminates a billowy

white silhouette 

floating carefully through

a maze of furniture

feet quietly smacking

and sticking

to the cool marbled floor

first breath after coma

never in my life
have i spent
every single waking moment
thinking, wishing, waiting
for a simple phone call
a quiet hum from 
across the room

and i'm sent into

a whirlwind of emotions

his cheerful voice

makes mine disappear

my heart feels like

i've been sprinting for days

my throat is sewn together

and the purest water

 trickles down to 

my quivering chin

alas, this is not from

sadness, regret, or despair
this is overwhelming happiness

a joy i have never felt before
every single moment of doubt
was flooding over and out 

of my mind

because i know that

there can't be a love

more true than ours.

all those sleepless nights

staring at the ceiling

the constant reminders

to breathe

have been lifted

the smile has returned

to my relieved face

my muscles have

loosened their tension

and my heart has found

its missing piece 

to the puzzle 

i have been struggling

to finish the past few months

i  c a n  f i n a l l y  b r e a t h e

sobbing.

i know that

third chances

are a big stretch

and its hard to regain trust

but i want nothing more

right here, right now

than to spend 

the rest of my life 

with you

as i sit here

with tears rolling

out of my eyes

chin trembling

throat tight

i just want to

ask you for

nothing more

than to trust me

i learned a lesson

and i will never

ever

leave the only

person in the world

i have ever truly loved.

 

scarydreams beautifulnightmares

with each passing night
the dreams become
outrageously vivid
slept for two hours
nothing but dreams
about you and sometimes me
tossing and turning
when i wasn't there
awaken by a piercing shrill
of the alarm clock
bringing me back to reality
reminding me of the
three hour drive home
i was sort of relieved
for some peace and quiet
on the long morning road
but lord knows that
you were still on my mind
i thought i would smoke
but the drugs don't work
songs lost their meaning
i couldn't even sing along
drive seemed to take
longer than usual
professor speaks
but i'm in my head
eyes glazed over
lost in thought
in haunting day dreams
perhaps a short rest
to regain energy will
calm my mind
i was awoken
to a nightmare
of you updating me
through the only means
of communication i have
saying you loved
a girl named katie
i don't know who
this girl may be
but i hope it really was
a dream and not a premonition
for my mouth was dry
and my body was sweating

i just want to sleep good for one night.

thats all i ask.

nopictures

a good friend said

she's seen you about

bar hopping downtown

she said you seemed

happy and carefree

i can't even express

the nausea i felt

when she told me

how often you've

been spotted

girls dancing

all around you

as if the pictures

of you wrapping

your arms around her

on halloween wasn't

enough for me to bear

i don't want to imagine

all the girls you've kissed

fondled, flirted

or slept with

but my mind is racing

and it can't slow down

you were made

just for me and

no one else

i'm sure you've seen

the pictures of me and him

but tomorrow 

they will be gone

leaving space

for pictures that

have not yet been taken

of our faces smiling

in pure, unwavering happiness

for those

images of love

will be solely ours

i wish i could

stop worrying 

about every little thing

you do without me

stop thinking

about how you might

be happier without me

i can't let you go

its killing me inside

i wish she didn't tell me

it may have kept me sane

because i'm not even

close to being

complete without you.

statusupdate

the way you word

my insight into your life

makes me think

that you dont need

anything to do with

me anymore

you'll do it better

when he's gone

you say

i am strung
between the two
possibilities of interpretation

either you are going

to be able to move on

knowing that i'm alone

or you are going to

treat me better than

he ever could

but i hope you know

that no one compares 

to you at all

it makes my 

stomach of steel

twist and turn

up into my throat

where it will make

its home until

i have any sort of relief

and i pray for the
outcome of you and i

otherwise the serpent

writhing in my throat

might just suffocate me