the sound of innocence
ripples through my window
with the cool fall breeze
and the rhythmic bouncing
of weekend freedom on the street
chews me up
and spits out memories
like over-chewed tobacco
into a bucket of longing

for time to slow
rewind
scraped knees
elbows
ice cream 

could cure
all the problems of the world
spoon rattling 
against the empty bowl
makes me shiver now
as i long for my
sounds of childhood

california love

lets move to california love

where the smog will fill our lungs

in search of life so sweet

we'll taste it on our tongues

we can live in the the suburbs

or the city if you please

we'll have a lovely garden

and rows of apple trees

you'll make the music

and i'll create the art

harmoniously in love

whether we're together or apart

so what do you say?

wont it be grand?

just promise if the earth quakes

you will hold my hand

so break out that piggy bank

and save what you've been earning

because i'm ready for the adventure

our hearts have been yearning

and we are all waiting for

the soft glow of

3:27

illuminates a billowy

white silhouette 

floating carefully through

a maze of furniture

feet quietly smacking

and sticking

to the cool marbled floor

first breath after coma

never in my life
have i spent
every single waking moment
thinking, wishing, waiting
for a simple phone call
a quiet hum from 
across the room

and i'm sent into

a whirlwind of emotions

his cheerful voice

makes mine disappear

my heart feels like

i've been sprinting for days

my throat is sewn together

and the purest water

 trickles down to 

my quivering chin

alas, this is not from

sadness, regret, or despair
this is overwhelming happiness

a joy i have never felt before
every single moment of doubt
was flooding over and out 

of my mind

because i know that

there can't be a love

more true than ours.

all those sleepless nights

staring at the ceiling

the constant reminders

to breathe

have been lifted

the smile has returned

to my relieved face

my muscles have

loosened their tension

and my heart has found

its missing piece 

to the puzzle 

i have been struggling

to finish the past few months

i  c a n  f i n a l l y  b r e a t h e

sobbing.

i know that

third chances

are a big stretch

and its hard to regain trust

but i want nothing more

right here, right now

than to spend 

the rest of my life 

with you

as i sit here

with tears rolling

out of my eyes

chin trembling

throat tight

i just want to

ask you for

nothing more

than to trust me

i learned a lesson

and i will never

ever

leave the only

person in the world

i have ever truly loved.

 

scarydreams beautifulnightmares

with each passing night
the dreams become
outrageously vivid
slept for two hours
nothing but dreams
about you and sometimes me
tossing and turning
when i wasn't there
awaken by a piercing shrill
of the alarm clock
bringing me back to reality
reminding me of the
three hour drive home
i was sort of relieved
for some peace and quiet
on the long morning road
but lord knows that
you were still on my mind
i thought i would smoke
but the drugs don't work
songs lost their meaning
i couldn't even sing along
drive seemed to take
longer than usual
professor speaks
but i'm in my head
eyes glazed over
lost in thought
in haunting day dreams
perhaps a short rest
to regain energy will
calm my mind
i was awoken
to a nightmare
of you updating me
through the only means
of communication i have
saying you loved
a girl named katie
i don't know who
this girl may be
but i hope it really was
a dream and not a premonition
for my mouth was dry
and my body was sweating

i just want to sleep good for one night.

thats all i ask.